“Tying The Knot”…To Love, To Commitment And To Us ALL Living Happily Ever After!

Last week I had the pleasure to witness the marriage of two people I have gotten to know over the past few years through Tampa Bay Business Owners, a local business organization I have mentioned numerous times before in previous blogs (mostly recent on this site as well as on my former blog over at tcP! Sweets) and on social media.  I was so honored despite the fact that I don’t think they really intended for anyone to be there other than their officiant, owners of the home where the ceremony was taking place and two other witnesses to make it legal.

In an email exchange after receiving the invitation to their celebration dinner a few days after the ceremony was taking place this is what I was told…

“You’re welcome to attend our ceremony if you want, and we’d love to have you! It’s on (TBBO) Main Event day so we didn’t want people to feel torn or rushed. We really want to keep it simple, and that can still include you! ”

That can still include me???

Ummm…

Call me crazy but…clearly they don’t understand I never miss an affair if I can help it. And I certainly never miss an opportunity for a good tears of joy / cry fest, especially one that represents so much about love and commitment. In a world that sometimes seems to do everything in its power to stack the cards against marriage, I am going to do everything in my power to be present and whatever energy I can bring to get them off on the right foot, I’m totally there.

I suppose I could have just gone to the dinner a few nights later and celebrated with everyone else. But despite the fact that I had just returned from Los Angeles less than 2 days before, was still feeling jet lag, had what seemed like a never ending amount of work to catch up on and was leaving the next day for Tallahassee to attend my daughter’s film screening (she’s a junior at FSU Film School …awesome program, by the way, for anyone thinking about going to film school), I put on a dress (a rarity these days) and arrived ready to see them literally tie the knot…

Official tying of the knot

Official tying of the knot

I’ve never seen a wedding where they actually used two pieces of rope and tied them together to symbolize their union. So that got me thinking about the origin of the phrase and this is just one of the many I found thanks to a quick Google search (seriously, what did we do before Google???)…

“There is a suggestion that this expression derives from the nets of knotted string which supported beds prior to the introduction of metal-sprung bedrames. The theory goes that, in order to make a marriage bed, you needed to ‘tie the knot’.”
(Source: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/tie-the-knot.html)

Who knew???? There are many other theories that include stuff about girdles worn during the Roman Empire, illiterate sailors and soldiers sending pieces of rope to prospective brides and Hindu necklaces made of flowers but the exact origin…no one really knows.

And does it really matter? I loved the gesture which only made me cry more and feel greater joy for the happy couple.

But what really got me most of all was knowing what it took for them to arrive to this day. It was years in the making. They met in 1998 and on March 4th, 2004 actually did get married in Oregon.

A few days later, though, it was annulled…not at their request but because the state essentially revoked their license and thousands of others who got married on or shortly after March 3, 2004 when the county clerk began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. (For more on that history click here.)

Disclaimer:
For those of you who may be reading this and are very much against gay marriage and/or relationships, I officially give you permission to stop reading, but please don’t leave negative comments ranting about the evils of it all. I promise you I will not approve them. 

Oh and by all means, unsubscribe to my emails, unfriend me on Facebook, stop following me on Twitter and delete my contact information from your phone. Yeah, your entitled to your opinion but if you are going to get ugly, I won’t allow that negativity to be part of my world…sorry.

I’m not here to debate anything.

I’m here to share my day to day life experiences and, as I say, keep it real.

For the record and in case you didn’t know, I’m not a lesbian and attending a wedding or merely having friends who are will not make me a lesbian. And to the haters out there who think gay marriages destroy the institution and the notion of what a family should be, well, that shipped sailed a long time ago with heterosexuals divorce rate significantly higher than homesexuals.

What was so real to me standing beside those two women on an absolutely glorious sunny day, overlooking one of the channels leading into Tampa Bay was a feeling of commitment that they clearly have for one another. And truth be told, it was stronger than any other wedding I’ve ever attended. Maybe it was because this was, in fact, the first legal gay wedding I’ve been to and I can so appreciate everything they have had to go through to get to that day, that moment.

My decision to get married…both times…was simple. I was in love and believed in the life we could make together. My first marriage may have ended in divorce, but, still, no one told me I couldn’t get married when I decided to do it again.

Why should it be any different for these two women?

The very happy and very deserving couple!

The very happy and very deserving couple!

Congratulations to them, to love, to commitment and to equality for us all to live happily ever after.

That’s it for now…#BlackerOut

 

37 Comments

Filed under Call Me Crazy, Marriage

37 responses to ““Tying The Knot”…To Love, To Commitment And To Us ALL Living Happily Ever After!

  1. I love the actual “tying of the knot”…how cool! We poured different colored sand into a jar…but there are all sorts of unique things people do. Thanks for sharing…always good to read about happy people!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love is NEVER wrong…When we shed our bodies and our soul returns home, we are one 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’d never thought of where the expression “tying the knot” came from. Congratulations to your friends. It’s hard to imagine having to fight to be able to get married but of course I know that many have had to do that. I applaud them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the physical representation of tying the knot! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Regardless of who marries who, it should be for love!

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  5. I really love the history between the tying the knot. Two of my female friends had a union and they had such a beautiful ceremony. I even got to make their wedding cake! It was 90+ degrees and I was under the pavillion fanning it so it would stay cool!
    Love is such a beautiful thing to watch and I’m always happy when I can be part of it! Here is to them having a wonderful life together!

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  6. I was one of the lucky witnesses. After the nuptials where exchanged I asked Vicki how it feels to be married. She responded that she thought it would never happen in her lifetime. This statement really struck as my friend for years did not have the same opportunity my wife and I have had. Truly grateful to have experienced this event.

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  7. Blessings to the beautiful couple for a happy life! I never knew of the tying the knot expression, either, and dang… it’s adorable! I am so happy for this lovely ceremony to be taking place!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This truly was an amazing day for all of us present. The know tying came from my sailing background! Thank you Beth for so eloquently putting into words the power and awe of the love, devotion and commitment of that great day. You, Beth, coming to be part of this is noteworthy is a day and age where so many people makes excuses for missing important events, you are going to great lengths to share in the meaningful moments. This is the mark of a true friend. I am inspires by you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You did an amazing job as the officiant Dianne. It made the ceremony so meaningful especially having them officially “tie the knot”.

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  10. SG

    Love this post! Love is love is love is love. Amen!

    Like

  11. I have sworn, as a photographer, that I don’t do weddings. However, any same-gender couple who would like me to, I will make an exception if they have trouble finding someone to shoot their wedding. I have close friends, male and female, who are gay and in committed relationships, and as I told a conservative friend recently: It’s all about love. What bodyparts go where is no more your business than if it were a hetero couple. If you need to go there, the problem lies with YOU. Love love love – and you have my respect and admiration for having the courage to live an authentic life!

    Like

    • So well said Amy. I am certain I have lost a few subscribers/friends/followers as a result of this post but if I don’t say how I really feel than I am not having the courage to live an authentic life either. I’m just so tired of the hate all around whether we are talking about sexual preferences, religion, politics, whatever. I may not be able to change the world but at least I can put my head on my pillow at night with only love in my heart.

      Like

  12. I agree that love is love no matter who does the loving and we should all have the right to marry whomever we love. I am very inspired by and happy for Bonnie and Vicki.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Love is Love, is definitely my motto! How beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. You? Sorry for not allowing negativity here? I don’t think so! I’m with you, Beth, all the way. I don’t give a hoot what kind of marriage it is; if you want to be married, it’s not my business — or anyone else’s — to tell you what sex your partner should be.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You know me well Jackie 🙂 And, no, it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business but sadly our society has made it so. I do think, though, that my kid’s generation and beyond will be much more accepting. Here’s hoping right?

      Like

  15. Once again, an extraordinary self -expression. All your writings are as if you are just talking to me, to us over a cup of coffee. What a gift. Good luck to your friends as they continue to negotiate the journey of relationship and marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Roz that is truly so kind of you to say. And I do think that if we were able to have a cup of coffee face to face one day you would find that I am exactly who I represent in writing and am pretty authentic, albeit a little crazy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Wonderful story – thank you for sharing this with us. Love is love – no matter the race, color, creed, or orientation.

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    • Thanks Stephanie…I appreciate all of the positive support for this blog. It saddens me that I have received a few comments that were not only negative but seriously offensive. I don’t see any point in anyone ever arguing about this but I suppose haters are always going to hate.

      Like

  17. Bonnie Dye

    Beth, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts in this way. I got weepy again just reading it. And it means SO MUCH that you truly wanted to be at the ceremony. Vicki and I are lucky that we’ve never had to hide our relationship preferences. Our immediate family members have been supportive and we’ve never had to worry about losing our jobs. Many others are not so lucky. Even in the 21st century there are young people being disowned, and teachers who live every day in fear of losing their chosen career. As more people speak out like you have, the tide will eventually turn.

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    • Bonnie you are so very welcome. As I said, it truly was an honor to be there to witness such a joyful occasion because as so many have said love is love is love. Congrats again to you and Vicki…I know you will live happily ever after!

      Like

  18. What an awesome story.. loved the mid comment too. Hilarious. I have quite a few friends who have gotten married over the last year due to the changes certain states have made. I have nothing against it, after all, who am I, “so holy” to cast judgement upon others. It is not my lifestyle choice, but theirs. 🙂

    Like

  19. Thanks for sharing this post. It is worth the effort reading it.

    Like

  20. What a wonderful tribute to your friends and their love! Many more happy years to them!

    Like

  21. Pingback: Social Media: The Great Uniter and Divider | Beth Blacker...Call Me Crazy

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