All In The Family: How To Work For Your Spouse And Live To Tell The Tale

It’s official!

I am now the
Director of Strategic Relationships and Community Outreach
for OJ Mortgage Inc. 

Slide background

Yeah, that’s my husband Stan’s company and I did get to give myself a long and fancy-ish title but I suppose it’s one of the perks of being married to the boss 🙂

So call me crazy but…I did actually volunteer for the job. I mean, I get paid but I willingly went into it understanding I would be working for my spouse. We’ve sort of been dancing around this idea for years, the planets started to really align a few months ago and after much  yelling debate  discussion  casual conversation we decided to give it a real whirl.

This should be a no-brainer for me…I am a self-proclaimed, crazy in a good way networking maven (or at least I think so) and go out and about into the community as well as represent myself online every day with virtual ease. I also have been the unofficial #1 cheerleader for OJ for a long time.Stan, Stan, He's our man...%0AIf he can'tHow long?

Well, first let’s go back in time to the morning that I signed my divorce decree for my first marriage in August 2001. My attorney advised me to find out about refinancing ASAP. Rates were significantly lower than the one I was committing to by taking over the mortgage on my soon to be former marital home. He asked if I knew anyone in the mortgage industry. I said I thought the guy  I was going out with that night was a broker…aka Stan.

Eight hours later I arrived at the restaurant for our first date, albeit a little early. It took a year, a lot of stress, tears and, of course, money to get that divorce and I figured it was time to celebrate so I ordered a bottle of champagne to be delivered to the table. I think that freaked Stan out a little. He wasn’t used to such a controlling take charge thoughtful kind of woman. I also don’t think he was expecting a first date to include a conversation about refinancing but I’m guessing he was able to write off the meal as a business expense? You’re welcome Stan!

Anyway, he told me we couldn’t really talk about my specific circumstances until after the 3rd date.
Seemed a little presumptuous but I giggled at what I sensed was his positive outlook.
Or maybe because I was already halfway into a bottle of champagne?

Did I mention I was celebrating?


Ok, it wasn’t quite like that but you get my point.

We obviously made it to date #3 and I reminded Stan that we needed to discuss my soon to balloon rates. But first I was understandably curious…why 3 dates?

In his mind, #3 would be the make it or break it date…in other words, would we go forward or fizzle like a bottle of champagne after the cork was popped? I get it…no reason to waste a lot of time if you don’t think you are all that into someone.  So  he was going to refinance my home and that meant I was revealing all of my finances to him.  And therefore, he said he would, in turn, reveal his finances to me.

Ummmmmmmm….

Never would it have ever crossed my mind he needed to do that.

Yep, welcome to #lifewithStan . Go ahead, search the hashtag, I use it often.

Suffice it to say, he won my trust as a mortgage broker and as an all around honest person.
And, yes, he did provide all of his financial documents prior to closing as promised.

Side note: My credit score was slightly higher…score one for me!

So I went through the refinancing process and subsequently to cheer for Stan (and all of Team OJ) for the first time in 2001. And let’s just say he totally had me at “no cost loan”.

We aren’t exactly Renee Zellinger and Tom Cruise but you get the famous movie line reference right???

He also was able to roll some of the home’s equity into the refinancing so I could buy a car (I got the awful mini van with a serious A/C issue in the divorce) and instead of making a $300-400 car payment, my mortgage only went up about $12 per month and I had a brand new Toyota Camry that I essentially paid for with cash out of my home.

Yeah, home prices were climbing significantly back then so I never felt a substantial loss of any kind, but still, I was hooked…on the concept of refinancing, that is. Oh and Stan too. He definitely “dazzled” me with his mortgage magic and thinking outside of the loan process box. Ultimately, it was his sense of humor that really won me over. Hey, how many mortgage guys do you know that are willing to stand on their head in the middle of a home show? 150929_10151243219765017_1445018721_n

Now, almost 14 years later, we are taking our relationship to a whole other level…working together. And we are both really going to need to maintain a sense of humor if we are going to survive. We already know we pretty much disagree on everything when it comes to marketing and have completely different organizational styles, but we usually find the compromises that make us both happy.

I do have to keep in mind that he is the boss when it comes to matters regarding OJ. So here’s my proclamation…

I, Beth Blacker, do solemnly swear to be a great employee and respect Stan Blacker as the President of OJ Mortgage between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm, Monday-Friday.
Should we disagree on any matters during those hours I will defer to his years of experience in the mortgage industry and fulfill my employment duties as directed.

After hours…all bets are off.

That’s all for now…#BlackerOut !

 

36 Comments

Filed under Business Development, Call Me Crazy, Marriage, Networking

36 responses to “All In The Family: How To Work For Your Spouse And Live To Tell The Tale

  1. I work for my husband as well. Keeping work and home separate is the hardest but most important part of working together!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congrats! My husband and I have been working together for about three years now. When I had our second baby I started working from home, but now I’m back at the office. Good luck!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post. I’ve been trying to get my husband to work with me, but he won’t do it. LOL! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This was fun. My late husband and I split the territory down the middle and we didn’t cross over. We made our respective decisions and (tried) not to interfere. It worked!

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s no splitting down the middle necessarily for us Sharon. We have very different roles. I am not, by law, even able to discuss specific interest rates so I am purely working toward building the recognition and credibility of the company. I leave all of the loan origination and processing to the rest of the office, but I will say I know more about mortgages after 14 years than I ever really wanted to know 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. What a fun post! I love your story. I hope you have a ball working together. The tactic of not being in the offer much should be the key!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I go in for meetings but with the majority of my day attending attending events or connecting one on one with strategic partners, there really is no reason for me to be at the office. Working from home works just fine for me 🙂

      Like

  6. So my “former” husband and I worked together (apparently for far too long), in the music industry. Life together on the road 24/7 did take its toll. Hence the “former” husband. Love your story and how you’ve made this relationship work. Humour, always helps. Run the other way from a man (or woman) without a sense of humour. Great post! Thoroughly enjoyed your storytelling.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I cannot imagine being on the road working 24/7 together…that would be intense but then again my husband has wanted to take an RV “adventure” as he refers to it together for 6-9 months…not sure the sense of humor would last that long but we’ll see 🙂

      Like

  7. That’s great Beth! I’d like to offer a slight change to your proclamation “…be done with work at Noon on Friday’s.” A girl’s gotta get her hair/nails done or have a glass of wine, huh? Love your attitude and it’s great to see a couple in love after so many years. Funny, how the 2nd hubby is such a great fit…for me too!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, Beth, you make me smile. I wish you and Stan all the best (and lots of wine)!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Too cool, congrats on the new fancy title 😉 My plan is to eventually have hubby and myself both working together, from home…slowly but surely!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. OMG! Hilarious. I KNOW I could never work for my ex (when he was my husband) and I probably couldn’t work for my current boyfriend, not to mention that we are total opposites (I’m outgoing, high strung people person and he’s… not lol) but we don’t work in fields that mesh.. he’s dives and works on ships (I am not mechanical) and I am an internet marketer (he’s techie, but not this techie) lol. BTW.. .love the title and hopefully you get some time to yourself Miss Community Outreach! LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great blog , very well written (and entertaining). Like reading how you both came to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Cyndy Sanberg

    This is just great!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This was fun to read, Beth! Hubby and I are working together. It’s not always easy as we have different opinions sometimes, but it’s also a great way for us to be even closer, which is awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Congrats for the position you have with your husband’s company. I really admire your chemistry to get things going, particularly with respect to your role as staff of OJ Mortgage.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Bonnie Dye

    Loved your post, Beth! It’s definitely a dance to work with your spouse. Vicki and I have been doing it for about 12 years, and we’ve always had very distinct, separate roles. Even with that it still gets tense now and then.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ahaha what a great post, and a great story…You will definitely make it working together, you both seem to have a lot of humour and spunk, so it will all be fine. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Congratulations! And Ha! It’s obvious you have a great sense of humor – I’m sure that will get you through any disagreements 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I can’t imagine working for my husband. I love him, dearly and yes, he is the smartest person I know, but that also makes me want to choke the know-it-all. lol 😀 Best of luck to you! Visiting very late from #FridaySharefest!

    Like

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