My husband reads our local newspaper every day as part of his two hour morning ritual and will sometimes leave articles on our kitchen counter for me to read that he thinks I should see, including the occasional obituary.
A few weeks ago I found this one, circled and with arrows pointing to the specific article of interest…
Why? Well, we need to go back to the summer of 2003 when my daughter spent her first of many summers at a sleep away camp in the Poconos and my son went to one in the Berkshires…2 states and 3 mountain ranges away…and, of course, his visiting day was the same day as hers.
Seriously, why should anything in life ever be simple? It’s so much more “interesting” to be challenged by these kind of logistics right?
Side note: Both camps had an “alternate” visiting day on Sunday, mostly for divorced parents who didn’t want to share the few hours with their children. And while I was divorced by the time my kids started going to camp, the alternate days for us were especially important because of the distance between the two camps. Why were they in 2 different states? Sigh…we’ll have to have a few cocktails one day to get to that story.
Anyway, for anyone that has ever tried to get a hotel during a camp visiting day weekend, you know the rates are usually at least double and, oh, there are 3 night minimum stays.
So call me crazy but…I didn’t need want to spend 3 nights in either location. I wanted to leave Tampa on Friday morning and return Sunday night.
And not spend thousands of dollars in the process.
Apparently, I was somewhat delusional.
Ok, wait, we’ve already determined I am crazy so I guess delusional isn’t much of a stretch.
The first year I literally spent months combing the internet for reasonable multi city airfare (arrive in Scranton…yes Scranton…on Friday and leave from Hartford…not as bad as Scranton but still…on Sunday) plus hotels with no minimums and a car rental that didn’t charge a ridiculous fee for dropping off in a different city than the one picking up.
Gotta love supply and demand economics!
Finally, I came across what was at the time a Sheraton about 30 minutes from my daughter’s camp through Orbitz that didn’t have any restrictions whatsoever and was very reasonably priced.
Only one room left…I didn’t even bother looking at the hotel’s website and grabbed it before it was gone as quickly as it had magically appeared. I’ve stayed in enough Sheratons, Holiday Inns, Hiltons and Marriotts off various highways and they are all pretty much the same.
Yeah, well, the hotel I reserved, Cove Haven on Lake Wallenpaupack in Lakeville, PA, clearly was the exception to that little rule.
Unbeknownst to me, I had reserved a suite at a place referred to as “The Land of Love”, one of the infamous Poconos resorts that was/is advertised incessantly on Northeast radio and television as a “blend of romance and recreation”, complete with…
silo-like rooms (meaning no windows)
round beds (uh…not at all practical for my 6’4″ husband)
mirrored ceilings (OMG)
glass enclosed individual indoor heated heart shaped pools (aka giant germ/disease tanks)
and, yes, a seven-foot champagne glass whirlpool bath-for-two complete with celestial ceiling (I thought they were a myth..I was so wrong)
At the reception area, they advised us that “Betrothed Badminton” was starting in 10 minutes to be followed by “Cupid’s Archery” and then some name for the cocktail hour I have obviously blocked from my memory.
I had entered hell.
My then fiance now husband, Stan, was in heaven.
Honestly, I love the big guy but I have never known anyone more attracted to cheesy stuff like this than him. He actually proposed to me in the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel complete with an Elvis impersonator so Cove Haven had him written all over it.
Me, not so much. Truth be told, not at all.
It was going to be the longest 16 hours of my life…8 of them hopefully sleeping…before leaving at 8 am the next morning for visiting day #1.
“What time would you like the photographer to come to your room to take the photos of the two of you in your champagne glass bath?” asked the front desk clerk.
“Not necessary,” I said.
“What do you mean?” said Stan, looking extremely surprised that I didn’t want a complete stranger in our room taking pictures of us in a bathtub. “Come on babe, it’ll make for a great memory.”
“I’m good,” I said. I already had plenty of images from this place permanently seared on my brain and we hadn’t even left the reception area.
FYI…searching for a photo of the champagne glass tub that was “free to use for commercial purposes” you will find some very interesting ones. The one above was the least creepy one I could find.
Look, no disrespect to anyone who has stayed in one of these resorts and thought it was awesome. It just isn’t for me. But I will give Stan major props for making me laugh…A LOT…during our brief stay.
More importantly, I really do admire, Morris Wilkins, for taking a vision, no matter how kitschy, and making it come to life. A former electrician, he took over ownership of what was then called the Hotel Pocopaupack in 1958 and renamed it Cove Haven. For the next few years it was just another couples-only hotel until he came up with the idea for the heart-shaped tub, followed by the champagne glass one and both truly put the Poconos on the map as a modern honeymoon and romantic getaway destination.
Despite several more years of visiting day weekends, we never returned to Coven Haven (please tell me you aren’t surprised). I did, however, feel a bit nostalgic when I read that Mr. Wilkins had passed away a few weeks ago at the age of 90 and found the one photo I did allow to be taken while there. I wonder if they would want it for their marketing materials?
Then again, we probably have on way too much clothing for their needs.
That’s it for now…#BlackerOut!
What can I say? You spared me from ever booking at a place with ‘Love’ in the name. Seems Stan feeds your sense of adventure. fun post as always.
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Yeah, well, I’m relatively certain you figured that out on your own a long time ago Roz 🙂
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We were victims of a Pocono honeymoon. What you described is SPOT ON. I was dying. Thanks for the reminder of how far we have come since then. LOL
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Ha! A Pocono honeymoon? Bless you 🙂
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This is SO sweet!! LOL I am cracking up. I’m glad Stan is such a romantic. Love the throwback pic, BTW! It’s safe to say my life will be just alright if I never have to visit there.
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He definitely knows how to keep things interesting Holly. And I do feel a little bad for what I guess has turned into a not so favorable review for these resorts. They certainly fill a niche market…I just don’t think I am part of it 🙂
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Thanks for the laugh, Beth!
Cheesy abounds in the Poconos — and I’ll never understand the appeal.
Gotta love Stan!
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You live in PA right Cathy? I guess you have to learn to tune out those commercials 🙂
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I always enjoy your blog Beth. What a wonderfully entertaining and funny story! And I’m with you and never wanting to stay at a place with mirrors on the ceiling! Seriously?!? LOL
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Seriously, yes, mirrors on the ceiling and most of the walls if memory serves me correctly 🙂
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Hmmm will have to recommend this Cove Haven to my honeymooner clients… that is yes if they’re cheesy. Love how real you keep your writing. Honest and straight forward, not PC or sugar coated. That hilarious that Stan proposed to you at Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel lol…. Yes please send your picture in to Cove Haven marketing director 🙂
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I am sure your clients will be just thrilled with you Camille! And no, I don’t sugar coat anything but do try to keep from being rude or offensive. As far as the picture is concerned, it doesn’t really tell enough of their story I’m afraid 🙂
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Bahahaha – I love your writing! I am now on the hunt for something as wonderfully cheesy in Australia. I think I will don my Akrubra with bobble corks for the photo opportunity. I reckon it would be a nice touch.
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I have no idea what an Akrubra with bobble corks is but I’m guessing it’s very cheesy!
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And to think I’ve missed out on this! But seriously, isn’t the point of sleep away camp for parents to have a vacation from their children (and vice versa)? They’ll be back soon enough, there’s no need for a parent’s day. What am I saying? If I were actually a parent, I’d be labelled a bad one.
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I actually stopped going to see my daughter Carol after a few years. She didn’t care if I came except for missing out on any of the crap I would schlep from Tampa and by crap we are talking about Swedish Fish, chocolate chip cookies and whatever else was on the list on the one letter she wrote in the first 3 weeks. 😉
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What an adventure! Places like that can turn from romantic to awkward even with the love of your life. Glad you can look back on it with some humor 🙂
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I wouldn’t say it was awkward Kristy…just not my cup of tea or glass of champagne as the case may be 🙂
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Not sure why, but your post took me back in time to my teenage years, when a trip to the Catskills with a friend for our summer vacation created lasting memories. We were 17 and people thought we were 25. When I look at the pictures of us then, all dressed up in our lamé evening attire, I can see why. It was a summer of crazy experiences, meeting a wide array of interesting people, including hanging out with Neil Sedaka at the resort and creating memories that seem to have lasted a lifetime. I loved your story, as it is a testament to how some of the most unusual of life adventures, become our most precious memories.
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I love Neil Sedaka!!!! That must have been so much fun Beverley. Yeah, he may not have ever been a teen idol but he made great music 🙂
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Great story, Beth. You are always entertaining. The camp my kids attended didn’t have parent visiting day. Yay!
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I went to camp for years (8 weeks) and never really understood why we needed visiting day except to get a lot of food that our counselors took away from us 🙂
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And I thought Intercourse, Pennsylvia, in Amish country was a good joke. As always, Beth, thank you for making me laugh! Next time you get the opportunity, you should get some high heels and take a picture in the glass tub: you could look like a pin-up girl! :-)?
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Never will I ever Liz !
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Never gone to the Poconos & you’ve sealed the deal that I won’t…you make my bones ache from laughing, Beth!!!
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Please don’t hurt yourself reading my blog Liz!!!!!
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Those Champagne Tubs are so 70’s lol. Good ha made you laugh alot in hell though ha ha. Greatly written as always!
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He does know how to find the silver lining in most situations Mike…if only I could get him to revise his website 🙂
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Hilarious! Love the throwbacks. Never been and never will.
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I am starting to think my audience just isn’t their target market 🙂
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Heehheee hoohoo lol ….you just made my day, Beth. 🙂
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Glad I could accommodate you Sharon 🙂
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OMG!!! I remember these champagne tubs being referenced in some comedy movie I watched a few years back.. I thought it was something made up for the movie hahaha!!! Well, now I know 🙂
You and Stan are proof that opposites (at least opposite senses of humor?) definitely do attract! ❤
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Actually Natalie, I have to admit we do have somewhat similar senses of humor but this was more of a matter of taste 🙂
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I’ll probably be sorry I admitted this in public, but I actually won the Cupid’s Archery contest! Yep, coming of age in Ohio in the 70’s, a Pocono’s honeymoon was fairly common. Paul and I had dated for 7 years before we got married, so it was an easy little getaway before returning to normal life. Side note: You’d think after 7 years of dating the marriage might have lasted more than 5 years…
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I love that you won the archery contest Bonnie! It was the only “sport” I excelled at when I went to camp. I even got a feather for “Most Improved” at the final campfire one year. Meanwhile, I dated my ex-husband for almost 7 years too but made it through 12 years of marriage. Even so, you would have thought we would have figured out any possible issues right?
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Love the story.Mom and I stayed at a similar place in Chicago complete with swimming pool,champagne and porn movies.I think it was called the Sybaris.I think it was for our anniversary and either you kids paid for it or the Blatts.
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I do not remember that at all…and thank G-d I didn’t come across any photos you might have taken there. A child cannot handle such stuff at any age 🙂
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Laughing like crazy! Our summer home was on Lake Fairview not far from Wallenpaupack growing up. I can tell you that local Poconoians (love that word!) thought the place was tragic too. I loved your post, you are the first person I have encountered who actually stayed there! Thanks for sharing – sending this off to my family members now!!! Happy Friday! from Carlyn in South Tampa
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I’m so glad I could take you down memory lane Carlyn. Tragic? Well, I suppose it was one of those “to each his/her own” kind of things????? 🙂
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This is great! I just love Stan’s attitude about it all. Hilarious!
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He definitely knows how to find the silver lining Lisa 🙂
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OMG.. freaken hilarious… and I’m with you.. there will NOT be anyone taking a pic of me IN my campaign hot tub.. no thank you… hilarious
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I assume you meant champagne not campaign hot tub 🙂 Autocorrect may be the best/worst thing that ever happened to the world right?
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I’m still laughing. What a funny story! Thanks so much for sharing.
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I’m going to guess that you wouldn’t be interested in the jungle room or the scarlet o’hara rooms they have near me in Niagara Falls. Lol love this post! I pass through PA a lot. I may have to go see this place myself.
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Ummmm…probably not Elena but you never know!
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Haha! I love the so-called “typo” where you called it Coven Haven. I think Mr. Freud would have much to say about that. Great piece…thanks for sharing your experience. So now I can say I, too, have done it. 😉
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It really was a typo…I can’t take any credit for it 🙂
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Funny post! And like how you bring in the theme of your blog title into the post. 🙂
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Thanks Leisa…I don’t know if I am a marketing genius but I am definitely a little “kitschy” 🙂
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Ahahah what a great post, and I am like you I would not want to have a phtoto taken in a tub like that. Even though I would probably have laughed a lot too. 🙂
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You can always have a laugh after the event. Thanks for sharing with us at #AnythingGoes
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That is very true 🙂
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